Making Moves?
It's been two weeks since I've met Jerry and it feels intense. But not in a bad way which, which worries me! We text daily and have brief conversations, they feel like check ins which I am OK with. I am too busy at work to carry on a conversation through out the day. Seems like he is too.
We have seen each other a few more times since the last post. Most recently on Friday. He made dinner reservations at a fancy Seafood restaurant. He was running late, which seems to be a theme with him. not that it has mattered much. We don't typically have time lines to just hang out but with 7:30 dinner reservations I was worried this would be a problem. He told me way ahead of time that he was going to be late picking me up so we were able to problem solve that I would just take a car to the restaurant and he would go straight there to meet me. It worked and I appreciated the communication. He lost his parking ticket immediately after entering the garage and seemed a little flustered when he showed up at the restaurant. He vented for a moment about losing the ticket and being annoyed by the situation, but then said. I'll deal with that later and seemed to really be able to completely forget about the issue and just be present. We had a great dinner. It was pouring down rain and he brought an umbrella in case I needed it. I loved that. When we got to the car we both started looking for the ticket it had to be around here somewhere. We tried calling the attendant to come help but nobody was answering. I could see that he was frustrated... It was cold and raining and we were stuck in this garage with no way out. I sort of felt like this was going to be a very telling situation. If this were my dad, he would fly off the handle and freak out. If this were my ex we'd probably just sit there until I came up with a solution. Jerry didn't get upset, he just figured it out. Why is he so normal!? Once we got out of the garage, we decided to go back to my place to drop off his car so that he could drink... He's responsible to not want to drink and drive, WHAT!? I know this is normal for a lot of people but it's still something that is surprising for me.
So then he throws out a couple places to go for drinks, we got to Ohana which was so fun! The music and atmosphere were great. We sat near the bar and spent a lot of time talking. Turns out he is an adorable chair dancer, likes country music (YAASSS) has career goals and a 5 year plan. He is studying to take the GMAT for business school and was even the one who suggested we take a picture together. He still asks me what is wrong with me and can't understand why I'm still single and is very affectionate. Then we went out dancing, which was really fun. All in all a great date. I haven't found any red flags yet. I have expressed to him how weird I feel because he is younger than me. I know that 6 years isn't that bad and he seems to have no problem with it, but it still bothers me.
I've reached out to two of my friends about this madness so far. They know how terrible I am at dating and clearly told me to not over think this and just go with the flow. It's been two weeks... Normally by now I have noticed all the little things I don't like at a person and have already decided that this is either not going to work and stop talking to them or decide that this will be a friends with benefits relationship and not deviate away from that box I put them in. This is the part that I already knew about myself, that if I put my mind to something I can do it. So currently I am in dating mode and working on being open to a relationship. I trying to not over think this, but is hard because I really don't know if this is real. Do I like him or the idea of him or is it just that I am a type A overachiever and want to meet goals/succeed at what I put my mind to, in this case being a relationship.
I started re watching sex and the city from the beginning... and its great!! It was on while Jerry and I were laying in bed talking, one of the episodes was talking about talking to your ex. So I asked him if he talks to any of his exes. He thought about it and said "no not usually" I asked what that meant and he said, he doesn't talk to them but that one of them reached out to him recently to ask a question about a car and he responded. So he didn't want to say no since it did happen but that it typically doesn't. So I think I appreciated the honest. I said the same thing. I don't really talk to any of my exes but guys do randomly hit me up. I explained that its never provoked, but that it does happen... like guys I haven't seen or thought of in like 8+ years will randomly pop up and text me like Hey! I'm not sure why I told him all this but it is true.
We also talked about me being out of town every weekend for the next month. I don't remember exactly how it was worded, but I know I agreed that I wouldn't hook up with anyone on my trips. He said he wouldn't either. I tried to keep it more causal like I always do. I told him that if was seeing anyone else that he just needed to tell me so that we could use condoms. He didn't seem to be as open about that. He said he isn't going to be with anyone else so it doesn't matter. I said "OK, that's fine. But I just want you to know that if it does I would rather know than not and I'm not going to be mad, I just want to be informed". He said he understood what I was saying but that he wouldn't be cool with with me seeing someone else and trying to come to him like "hey we need to use a condom because I hooked up with another dude on my trip". He said, we would be over. I don't think that was an exclusivity talk, but now that I am writing this I was like... uhhh I think we both basically said that we weren't going to sleep with either other, which to me also means talk/date/hang out with.
To err on the side of caution, I deleted both Tinder, Happn and the League apps from my phone. I don't feel like they were fruitful. If this thing with Jerry doesn't work out that's fine, but I know that swipe dating is not for me.
Updates:
Sean 33, Text me again last week to try to set up a date. I told him I was seeing someone and didn't want to talk anymore. He said he understood and wished me luck.
Ryan 34, Up until about 2 weeks ago we talked on snap chat daily. I tried to get him to meet up with me twice. Both times he said to wait or get to know each other more. I found that annoying. I don't understand how you could actually know if you liked someone without meeting them. Catfish!? I know he was a genuine and busy person but I was over it. I just completely stopped interacting with him and even stopped watching his snaps. This week he reached out to me again and I just told him I was seeing someone and wasn't going to talk to him anymore. He actually seemed affected. He said he missed his chance. Which I confirmed that he did. I gave him some advice for future, that he needed to pull it together and meet up with them before they lose interest.
Garad 32, Went away with the deletion of Tinder. He still hit me up every 2-3 days but didn't seem very interesting
Malik, Still hit me up a bit here and there. Last we text was last week. We had a tentative date planned on 4/19. I decided to "forget". If he brings it up I'll tell him I'm dating someone and that we shouldn't talk anymore.
We have seen each other a few more times since the last post. Most recently on Friday. He made dinner reservations at a fancy Seafood restaurant. He was running late, which seems to be a theme with him. not that it has mattered much. We don't typically have time lines to just hang out but with 7:30 dinner reservations I was worried this would be a problem. He told me way ahead of time that he was going to be late picking me up so we were able to problem solve that I would just take a car to the restaurant and he would go straight there to meet me. It worked and I appreciated the communication. He lost his parking ticket immediately after entering the garage and seemed a little flustered when he showed up at the restaurant. He vented for a moment about losing the ticket and being annoyed by the situation, but then said. I'll deal with that later and seemed to really be able to completely forget about the issue and just be present. We had a great dinner. It was pouring down rain and he brought an umbrella in case I needed it. I loved that. When we got to the car we both started looking for the ticket it had to be around here somewhere. We tried calling the attendant to come help but nobody was answering. I could see that he was frustrated... It was cold and raining and we were stuck in this garage with no way out. I sort of felt like this was going to be a very telling situation. If this were my dad, he would fly off the handle and freak out. If this were my ex we'd probably just sit there until I came up with a solution. Jerry didn't get upset, he just figured it out. Why is he so normal!? Once we got out of the garage, we decided to go back to my place to drop off his car so that he could drink... He's responsible to not want to drink and drive, WHAT!? I know this is normal for a lot of people but it's still something that is surprising for me.
So then he throws out a couple places to go for drinks, we got to Ohana which was so fun! The music and atmosphere were great. We sat near the bar and spent a lot of time talking. Turns out he is an adorable chair dancer, likes country music (YAASSS) has career goals and a 5 year plan. He is studying to take the GMAT for business school and was even the one who suggested we take a picture together. He still asks me what is wrong with me and can't understand why I'm still single and is very affectionate. Then we went out dancing, which was really fun. All in all a great date. I haven't found any red flags yet. I have expressed to him how weird I feel because he is younger than me. I know that 6 years isn't that bad and he seems to have no problem with it, but it still bothers me.
I've reached out to two of my friends about this madness so far. They know how terrible I am at dating and clearly told me to not over think this and just go with the flow. It's been two weeks... Normally by now I have noticed all the little things I don't like at a person and have already decided that this is either not going to work and stop talking to them or decide that this will be a friends with benefits relationship and not deviate away from that box I put them in. This is the part that I already knew about myself, that if I put my mind to something I can do it. So currently I am in dating mode and working on being open to a relationship. I trying to not over think this, but is hard because I really don't know if this is real. Do I like him or the idea of him or is it just that I am a type A overachiever and want to meet goals/succeed at what I put my mind to, in this case being a relationship.
I started re watching sex and the city from the beginning... and its great!! It was on while Jerry and I were laying in bed talking, one of the episodes was talking about talking to your ex. So I asked him if he talks to any of his exes. He thought about it and said "no not usually" I asked what that meant and he said, he doesn't talk to them but that one of them reached out to him recently to ask a question about a car and he responded. So he didn't want to say no since it did happen but that it typically doesn't. So I think I appreciated the honest. I said the same thing. I don't really talk to any of my exes but guys do randomly hit me up. I explained that its never provoked, but that it does happen... like guys I haven't seen or thought of in like 8+ years will randomly pop up and text me like Hey! I'm not sure why I told him all this but it is true.
We also talked about me being out of town every weekend for the next month. I don't remember exactly how it was worded, but I know I agreed that I wouldn't hook up with anyone on my trips. He said he wouldn't either. I tried to keep it more causal like I always do. I told him that if was seeing anyone else that he just needed to tell me so that we could use condoms. He didn't seem to be as open about that. He said he isn't going to be with anyone else so it doesn't matter. I said "OK, that's fine. But I just want you to know that if it does I would rather know than not and I'm not going to be mad, I just want to be informed". He said he understood what I was saying but that he wouldn't be cool with with me seeing someone else and trying to come to him like "hey we need to use a condom because I hooked up with another dude on my trip". He said, we would be over. I don't think that was an exclusivity talk, but now that I am writing this I was like... uhhh I think we both basically said that we weren't going to sleep with either other, which to me also means talk/date/hang out with.
To err on the side of caution, I deleted both Tinder, Happn and the League apps from my phone. I don't feel like they were fruitful. If this thing with Jerry doesn't work out that's fine, but I know that swipe dating is not for me.
Updates:
Sean 33, Text me again last week to try to set up a date. I told him I was seeing someone and didn't want to talk anymore. He said he understood and wished me luck.
Ryan 34, Up until about 2 weeks ago we talked on snap chat daily. I tried to get him to meet up with me twice. Both times he said to wait or get to know each other more. I found that annoying. I don't understand how you could actually know if you liked someone without meeting them. Catfish!? I know he was a genuine and busy person but I was over it. I just completely stopped interacting with him and even stopped watching his snaps. This week he reached out to me again and I just told him I was seeing someone and wasn't going to talk to him anymore. He actually seemed affected. He said he missed his chance. Which I confirmed that he did. I gave him some advice for future, that he needed to pull it together and meet up with them before they lose interest.
Garad 32, Went away with the deletion of Tinder. He still hit me up every 2-3 days but didn't seem very interesting
Malik, Still hit me up a bit here and there. Last we text was last week. We had a tentative date planned on 4/19. I decided to "forget". If he brings it up I'll tell him I'm dating someone and that we shouldn't talk anymore.
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